Updated: Apr 27, 2020
We were social, and had lots of friends. We hung out with our neighborhood and experienced Main Street like it was our living room at home. Our friends were our family of a very different nontraditional birth type variety with whom we felt a great bond. We shared our joys, heartbreaks, excitements, achievements, downfalls and pushed each other to create great things in life, AND we had fun (so much fun!) And it wasn’t just the neighborhood. Where ever we traveled to, the party continued.
We moved, bought a house and became parents shortly after that, on an island in the Pacific Northwest and the experience of friendship changed. It was quite perplexing and still is actually. (It’s all good now though, because it has brought us to creating BeFriendlee.) Everyone warned us not to move to that island. They gently insinuated that it was not for us because it was part of the “Seattle Freeze”, a term used to describe the cold personalities and attitudes that had grown in that area. The nature was gorgeous but as we learned for ourselves the warnings were true. It wasn’t just that area though. We were noticing that kind of disconnect around the world with all kinds of people. We felt like we were dating to find friends. People were so picky and rigid. It was either our babies were not quite the same age so we couldn’t hang out, or a comment that was innocently made that challenged the statuesque became the total deal breaker and you were banished from the group, to the fact that these people called being in friendship as just waving hello as they walked or drove past.
We can laugh about it now but those days were hard. We were new parents yes, but we had tons to share and we loved to entertain. Then it all began to get to us and the life challenges that normally you can ride out with the help of your friends started to chafe at us and after a while we stopped trying to make friends and things got even worse.
We moved, experienced more sorrow, but kept the dream alive and experienced more until our third big move when after enough hurt (I’ll speak for myself – I got feisty). I couldn’t care less and furthermore I was ready to put people on notice about their unfriendly and self-absorbed behavior. And then a wonderful thing happened. The more I spoke my mind the more I found a beautiful circle of friendship/family was forming in the most unlikely place. This little town in Colorado became our lovely nest with the sweetest, smartest, quirkiest considerate people we have met in a very long time.
So after so many “bad dates” and failed and disappointing relationships, the tide comes and goes, but I will say that the world is a small town and if you can open your heart like it has never been broken, you will find true friends. Be discerning but still act like a child without fear or regret.